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Dealing with Crybabies  
by Cheryl Gochnauer, Homebodies.org

Since Karen and Carrie are now 12 and 8, you might think I'm out of touch with mothers of newborns. No way. I have an excellent memory and I want you to know, my glassy-eyed, sleep-deprived, still-in-my-bathrobe-at-5 friend, that you will live through this.

Poor baby.

I remember a particularly bleary day when Karen started screaming at 8 a.m. and didn't quit for six hours. SIX hours! About five hours into it, I was standing on my front porch, screaming myself (in my bathrobe, of course). Fortunately, all my neighbors worked, so no one was around to call the cops. Then again, I probably would have been grateful to be hauled off to a nice, quiet cell.

Baby swings were usually helpful in getting my little ones quieted down. With Karen, I had one of those crank jobbies that would run out of steam just as she was nodding off. Waaaaah! When Carrie came along, I got smart and bought a battery-operated swing and constantly kept a fresh supply of AAs on hand.

Babies cry, and for as little as they are, they're remarkably good at it. Since they can't talk, crying is their main means of communicating, and it will help keep your temper in check if you try to view their bawling in that light. Approach their outbursts as you would a foreign language, spoken by someone you'd give your life for.

It takes a relatively short time for Mom to decipher which cry means what. There's the "I'm hungry" cry. There's the "I'm tired" cry. There's the emphatic "I need a new diaper" cry. (Who wouldn't wail at that?) And in Carrie's case, there was the "My sock's on crooked and somebody's gonna pay!" cry. (Even at three months, she was a perfectionist.)

If you're a stay-at-home mom, I can point out a silver lining surrounding the up-all-night cloud: once you collapse in bed at 4 a.m., you don't have to get up for work at 6 a.m.

There were times when I was sure people in the next county could hear my redheaded foghorns. But read my lips: this too shall pass. Your baby will learn to sleep through the night. You will wear makeup again. Both you and your baby will learn to communicate in ways other than crying.

Meanwhile, make sure you arrange for regular renewal time away from your children. Days on end without a break sap energy and patience, and a chronically tired mother has little to give her family. So take Grandma up on her offer to baby-sit; ask your husband to watch the baby while you get a soda with friends; build some mad money into the budget for a sitter so you can get out a couple of hours a week.

That's another thing I remember - how revitalizing a short break can be. By the time I walked back in the door, I was refreshed and swept my baby back in my arms, ready for our next adventure together. Give yourself some breathing room, and there's a good chance you'll feel the same.

Comments?  E-mail Cheryl@homebodies.org, or visit her website at www.homebodies.org.  Her book, "So You Want to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom," is available at The Light Keeper's Bookstore..  

copyright 2003 Cheryl Gochnauer and Homebodies.org, LLC - All rights reserved.

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